Top 5: Most American Songs to Have Ever Existed


Breathe a sigh of relief that the election is over, sadly Matt Romney and Rob Paul did not win, but rest assured, we now have more time to watch diet pill commercials and complain about street trash.

Really though, we don’t want you to get too disenchanted with this great nation after all the recent political hoopla, so we’ve compiled a list of the five most absurdly patriotic songs we could think of.  Turn off NPR and turn on something that will REALLY speak to you about this great nation.

1.  9/11, “God Bless the USA”

Hip-hop “footwork” group, 9/11, created this awe-inspiring tribute to the fallen victims of 9/11 in this tragically beautiful interpretive dance set to a chopped and screwed version of the song “God Bless the USA.” Watch in wonder as these gentlemen engage in a physical dialogue about terrorism and the discourse of American life post 9/11.

2. Miley Cyrus, “Party in the USA”

Oh Miley, we know how tough life can be outside the realm of hyper-wealthy country bumpkindom. Thank you for creating a song that truly interprets the American dream for a generation of budding miscreants.

3. Toby Keith – “Courtesy of the Red White and Blue”

According to Keith, putting boots up others’ asses is the American way. Until this song came about, I was unsure of our stance on the issue, but I finally received clarification upon first listen to Courtesy of the Red White and Blue and it was truly an epiphany.

4. Trey Parker, “America, Fuck Yeah”

With references to McDonalds, sportsmanship, books, and fake boobs, funnyman Trey Parker unintentionally created an anthem for the new generation. Truly highlighting the fruits of our labor here in the good old U.S. of A.

5. Kid Rock, “American Bad Ass”

Wife-beater and bucket hat enthusiast, Kid Rock professes his love of “packs of hoes” and
“punk rock” in this ode to the American lifestyle. Truly an epic tale of a self-made man, Mr. Rock speaks to the urban youth within all of us, instilling dreams that we may someday have a gaggle of overweight balding fans and an endless cornucopia of dyed animal furs.